Do you ever feel like you're in over your head? That you're out of place and wading water, trying hard not to drown? Right this moment I'd rather be a frog moonwalking across lily pads, singing opera while balancing a tray of porcelain on my head.
I didn’t really want to be here tonight, attend this Author Event at the Whimsical Reading Nook where I’ve worked for the past 2 years. I’ve never attended these functions before as they’ve always been after hours, at a time I’m on my way home, leaving the daytime Willow behind amongst the books and vintage posters that pay homage to literary geniuses like Platt and Wilde. Unlike them, I'm neither introspective nor quick-witted.
On the contrary. Most of my comebacks come…well, after the fact. My reaction to confrontation, and normal conversations is Freeze and Flight. Which brings me to this moment in time...
Mrs. Watts, the owner of Whimsical, didn’t give me much of a choice tonight. She needed me to be on hand. Make sure everyone was having fun.
Does she know me but at all?
I’m not a social butterfly. Never have been and never will be. And I’m fine with that. But there’s another reason why I’m so jittery.
As I stand outside the charming and quirky bookstore, watching people chat away easily and naturally, my heart starts to beat faster and breathing becomes harder. Why am I so anxious? Why do I feel on edge? Two words. One person.
Theo Sparks.
He’s one of our regulars at Whimsical. An avid reader, I assume. He has to be since he’s been coming to the store every single day for the past six months.
It’s my favourite part of the day when the door opens and Theo enters with his lopsided smile. But it’s also the moment I dread the most. He is remarkably easy breezy. Swimmingly suave. And charmingly confident. And he has kind eyes.
Those eyes…
You know, they are the kind of eyes that’s impossible to ignore. The kind of eyes you end up staring into for way too long until you’re snapped out of your mesmerised state with a simple blink. Or in my case a teasing wink.
You may have guessed it. I am the opposite of easy breezy. I’m much more like a stressed mess. Or a chaotic wreck. I don’t take risks. And I choke up every single time Theo tries to strike up a conversation.
Our potential Meet Cute was more Meet Awkward. It happened right after he started frequenting the store.
I was on my way to work one morning when I turned the usual corner and crashed into him by pure happenstance. It would have been comical if I hadn’t been so mortified. He laughed and grabbed my arm to make sure I didn’t fall onto the ground.
I ungracefully looked behind me thinking he was addressing someone else. And then I opened my mouth and…honestly…I still don’t know what happened…
The silence that followed was torturous and the nonsensical comment I made echoed in my brain like a hollow bell. Something flickered in his eyes that I couldn’t define. Shock? Surprise? Amusement? Confusion? Whatever it was, it wasn’t good.
I was confused, and I was the one that had strung those words together creating the perplexed expression on his face. Or had he simply been mirroring my own reaction? Probably.
I quickly turned on my heel and ran like the wind toward the store. And that was probably my first mistake.
My second mistake was to look back to catch the horrified look on his face, just before I tumbled over a mountain of bags a flock of Japanese tourists had piled up while waiting for their ride.
You’re welcome, tourists. I know you got some great footage.
In hindsight, running away, back to the store may not have been the right reaction to the situation. But what else could I have done? It was the obvious solution to a complex dilemma. A typical reaction by the daytime Willow Wells.
The nighttime Willow is nothing like the daytime me. That Willow is daring, confident, assertive and sharp. Maybe it’s because of the name I’ve given her, Willow Storm, a true force to be reckoned with. She embodies all the things I wish I was in real life.
...
Theo is laughing together with a group of friends and I find myself wanting to be in on the joke. I’ve managed to keep our interactions minimal over the past six months, afraid of opening up that Pandora box.
The invisibility cloak has worked wonders.
However…earlier tonight, as I was getting ready, I made an unexpected decision. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of holding back and sitting on the sidelines. I decided to level up, get myself out of the rut I’ve been stuck in for years as it seems. Tonight I will be Willow Storm in the flesh. No more the timid store clerk I am by day. Tonight I’m the bold and gutsy heroine that emerges at night.
I already have a game plan. I’m dressed for the part and I know I look good. The blue colour, bright as the sky, has always suited my skin tone, and it makes my eyes pop. Maybe not as much as Theo Sparks’ eyes. But they pop all the same.
My main objective: Get through the night in one piece.
My secondary objective: Try and enjoy the night.
Extra points for effort.
I feel my energy rise as I complete Level One with ease. The Setup. And although I’m dreading what comes next, I open the door and enter Level Two.
The store looks different in the night and that’s definitely an advantage. The warm and slightly eccentric ambience is just another backdrop. Like the graphic designs in the games I play at home. That approach calms my nerves, and my eyes zone in on the bar. It’s not that far.
What would Willow Storm do?
I skim through the crowd before me. I may have lost a few points by being late, but I can win them back. I’ve learned not to freak out when I lose points as I manoeuvre my Avatar through a new level. Moving forward, continuing to play is the key. It’s not about how many mistakes I make or how often I’m hit by my opponents or how often I fall. It’s about restarting the game, and learning from my mistakes. Trying again with a different approach. Never giving up. This is how I’ve managed to overcome challenges and obstacles by…
Hmmm…
Mrs. Watts catches my eye and she rushes over to where I stand. But before she can tell me off or berate me I grab her hands and smile.
“Thank you for patiently waiting for me…I really appreciate it.” She’s taken a bit back by my acknowledgement of the situation. But that quickly changes and she nods in understanding, smiling back.
“It’s fine dear. I know this is not your usual scene. I’m just thankful you made it.”
Ten points.
I already feel my confidence rise. I’m determined to complete each level until I’ve won the game.
“Everything is on schedule, Willow, so just go and mingle. And promise me…have fun.”
I’m going to try.
“Is there something you need me to do?” I can feel the hairs rise on the back of my arms, like when I’m at the end of an impossible level and reach an obstacle, just before I figure out how to break through and conquer.
“I just need you to make the announcement and reveal our author to start off the show…I’ve written it all down for you.”
I can do that.
Ever since I started at the Whimsical Reading Nook, Mrs. Watts has arranged these events she calls, Guess the Author. They’re extremely popular, and the identity of the writer is kept secret until the big reveal.
I wonder who tonight’s author might be?
I slowly move through the crowd and I go out of my way to avoid Theo. Our eyes meet across the room. I’ve managed to avoid him since that embarrassing incident and I try not to think about it as it only zaps my energy level. But I can’t forget. I’m tripping over pebbles of doubt.
Three minus points for obsessive thinking.
Entering Level Three. Mingle and Jingle.
Here’s my secret. I asked Google before I came: How to make small talk.
And I must say it’s working. Attentive listening is the trick. And when all else fails, you talk about the weather. The weather is always an interesting topic. And it’s safe.
My progress is good, but it’s not easy keeping up a conversation while watching out for the person you do not want to converse with. I don’t want another fiasco on my hands. I’m here to complete my mission. Finish the game with my head held high. And Willow Storm is a winner.
I successfully finish Level Three and unknowingly enter Level Four, finally reaching the bar. An energy boost is needed. A little bit of liquid courage, right? Don’t judge me.
“What’s your potion?”
My whole body stiffens at the sound of his voice. I know that voice so well by now that I don’t have to turn around to know it’s him. I let down my guard for a flippin’ second and now Theo is right here. Beside me. And once again I drown in his gorgeous eyes.
“What are you looking for tonight?”
That’s weird. What does he mean? Is it a trick question?
Think, Willow. Think.
No…what would Willow Storm do?
I ponder over the question for a few agonising breaths, but no matter how hard I try, I’m stumped. Nothing comes out.
Calm down. He’s just a man.
The longer I remain silent, the more he searches my face for a reaction. Something.
Say something. Just be honest. Open your mouth. And. Use. Words.
“Honestly…I’m…just hoping to get through this night in one piece.” He chuckles and nods in agreement. Relief flushes my system. Phew!
“I am too.” That’s surprising. He’s always so confident and easy-going. “I might not show it, but I’d rather be at home reading my book, drinking a nice bottle of wine.” He takes a sip from his drink as the bartender brings over my Whiskey Sour. I chug it down in one go and that lopsided grin widens behind the rim of his glass.
Great! Now he thinks I’m an alcoholic.
“It looks like your scene, huh.”
Why on earth did I say that way? That was rude.
But he isn’t put off by my comment. He casually shrugs his shoulders.
“It’s work…you know, one of those things.” Strangely, I know exactly what he means. The realization hits me. This is the longest conversation we’ve had in six months. And of course I start to freak out.
He’s not leaving. What do I do? I’m stuck.
So, in my usual fashion I look for a glitch. Maybe there’s a way to shortcut this level, to find a bug in the system so I can move onto the next level without completing this one?
Stop Willow. That’s not how Willow Storm plays the game. She doesn’t cheat. She doesn’t jump over a level. She fights through it. She solves the puzzle. She finds the hidden secrets. She levels up.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said that day…”
Please. Not that…
My eyes widen in fear and dread. This is it. The biggest obstacle yet of Level Four. Facing the Past. I’m not ready to relive my embarrassment and…
“The muse of the night rode a mystical dragon from the pages of the galaxy, scattering stardust and fire and plot twists over the human folk.”
What?!?
At first I’m not sure I heard him right. And it shows on my perplexed expression. What he’s saying doesn’t make any sense whatsoever. But on some level it makes sense to me. It makes perfect sense. I want to respond. I want to dig deeper as this is not how I would’ve expected him to react to my most embarrassing moment. Ever.
But I don’t get the chance. Unexpectedly Level Four is over.
“It’s time, Willow…They’re ready for you on stage.”
Mrs. Watts hands me a note and pulls me away from Theo and those mesmerising eyes of his. And that intoxicating smile.
There’s no time to think or prepare myself as I scramble onto the platform in my stupid stilettos.
I should’ve worn my ECCO pumps.
I face the crowd, the anticipation is tangible. Excitement bursts through the pores of every person present and I take my stand in front of the microphone.
I’m not used to this. I don’t do this often. Correction. I never do this. But tonight I’m not me. I’m Willow Storm. Right?
I clear my throat nervously and open the note from Mrs. Watts, and as if I’m on autopilot I start to read.
“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to this evening of literary celebration…Tonight, we have the privilege of delving into the realms of wild imagination, dreams and innovation with an author who has been defying the conventions and boundaries of modern language and ideas.” I look up at the crowd and I see Theo smiling back at me.
Confidence booster. Check.
Returning to my script, I continue to read.
“Our guest this evening is none other than the enigmatic wordsmith…” I choke on the words when I see the name. I hear Mrs. Watts clear her throat behind me. A slight nudge. “Theo Sparks?”
The audience erupts into applause and the whole mood of the room changes. Before I know it, Theo is at my side, taking his position in front of the microphone. The audience quiets down and he calmly looks over the crowd.
“Six months ago the muse of the night said something I haven’t been able to stop thinking about. She is just as whimsical as this quirky book store I’ve come to love and adore…”
My heart drops. Stomach flips.
Where’s my invisibility cloak?
“The Library of hopes and dreams has shelves made of fluff and feathers and the books it hosts are written in the language of rainbows and precious stones.”
And there it is. My nonsensical observation I want to forget…
“Why do we put limitations on our imagination?” He turns to me as he says the next words. “I want to thank my muse for inspiring me. And it is my hope that she will allow me to wander through the corridors of her thoughts, and dance in the ink puddles of her ideas.”
I don’t understand. Is that adoration in his eyes?
It hits me. This is it. The Secret Level. An Easter Egg.
In the most unexpected way I’ve completed the Final Level. I won! I finished and I'm still standing.
And now, it’s Game Over!
Or has the game just begun?
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